Never pretend to be something you're not. Everyone knows that you are a 70 pound lap dog
don't pretend you are not.
If you have a stick in your mouth, you automatically switch to super overdrive, and will be compelled
to run around like you are insane...
If your people won't let you on on the bed, cry, whine, and look pathetic until they do,
and if they don't jump directly on vulnerable parts when they are sleeping.
Be excessive, if they ask you to get a stick, bring back a tree, if they
ask for a kiss, drench their face.
If someone seems to not want to be friends, follow them around, stare at them, bark at them, cry,
and if they are sitting, sit directly on them, and kiss them unitl they can't breath.
If they try to move you, be stubborn, dig in your heals, and if they do move you, refer to number
3.
If you want to add a little excitement to your life....chase something, the cat, squirrels, raccoons,
see how fast your people come running and yelling. I have found that porcupines and skunks work exceptionally well, but don't
ever catch them, or you'll end up in the tub!
Baths are always bad, unless someone is already in there, or it's with the hose or the water gun,
they think it is a punishment.
Act as silly as you can when you do something wrong, and you should
get away with it. The trick is to make them laugh....
Work that tongue of yours...let them come close enough and then surprise them with a lick "snake
style" right in the mouth!
Make sure to always go for the most comfortable couch in the house...even if it is already
occupied. Same thing goes for your favorite lap.
When it's in your best interest, always practice obedience, keeping a keen eye on the hand that holds
the treat, unless there is something more interesting within 100 yards, then ignore everyone and focus entirely on the more
interesting person/dog/thing/ to the point of reaching a trance state.
Allow the experience of fresh air and the wind in your face to be pure ecstasy
and prompt you to produce copious amounts of drool to leave on all interior car windows
Never miss the opportunity to cuddle with a loved one.!!!!!!!!!!
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